Letting Life and Love In
By Brian Self
For as long as I can remember, I have always been taught to give love to others, help others, do good works of services, take care of others and so on. These things seem pretty normal in this day and age and have generally been held as "the right thing to do".
Now don't get me wrong... these types of works are of great value and service. I have personally been touched many times in my life by these types of works when it was genuinely given by someone who has crossed my path. And when it is genuinely given it comes from a place of compassion. Someone who is already letting it in themselves enough to meet us there. This is why it touches us so deeply... sometimes even to the point of tears... because we can feel them letting it in.
What I want to bring to our awareness in this writing is how this "giving" can sometimes become a pattern we use to escape the pain of feeling the the pain of how hungry we are to receive and let in ourselves what we give away to others.
I spent many years trying to fix other people so I did not have to feel what was real for them, and especially to not feel what was real for me, which was that I have always tried to get love from others by giving myself away or doing good works. It made me feel good and hopefully look good.
Try on looking at where you "give to get" without being fully clear in these agreements and relationships with others. Look at where you try to control and manipulate through "good works" or just try to control and manipulate in general.
Letting it in is so much different than the giving of love because it is a choice to be fully vulnerable and open our heart. Tears and emotions flow from this place. This is that intimate space that I believe we all long to met in.
When someone really feels you and takes in what you share with them you know it and you never forget it. These are unforgettable moments in our lives that leave us touched forever. These are the moments that feel so real and rich. They go right into the heart and soul.